


Battery of Guilt

by SilentReprobate



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Angst, Drunk confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, One-Sided Relationship, Pre-Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-sabatoge, perceived one-sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25430050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentReprobate/pseuds/SilentReprobate
Summary: Cloud hears something he shouldn't while Zack is inebriated.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 11
Kudos: 63
Collections: Slice of Clack: July 2020





	Battery of Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> I took a sadder twist to the [Slice of Clack](https://twitter.com/SliceOfClack) prompt from last week. ( It was 'cliches' so I chose 'drunk confessions' ) Not to happy with this one since work has been admittedly stressing me out but I hope you beans enjoy nonetheless.

Hearing ‘can you come pick up your boyfriend?’ is not what Cloud expects when he answers his PHS. There’s no need to ask who he was referring to when he can hear Zack yelling about something in the background.

He can barely argue with Kunsel without sounding like a petulant child. So it’s no wonder how he ends up here, wrangling Zack as he searches for the pass to the elevator, at Gaia knows what hour of the night. It’s like dealing with an oversized puppy. Zack leans heavily against Cloud, laughing at nothing; he reeks heavily of alcohol.

At least the receptionist takes pity on him. She must’ve been watching him struggle long enough before letting him head up. It’s so embarrassing.

“’ave you sheen Cloud?” Zack asks, picking his head up, eyes squinting once they enter the apartment. He doesn’t flinch when the keys are thrown to the side. He keeps looking around as if Cloud was somewhere inside and not holding him up.

“I’m right here-“ Fingers press to his lips. There’s a few weak pats to his chest before Zack drops his arm. His eyebrows furrow.

“Listen, I ‘ave- I have something to tell him,” Zack says firmly. He gets close to his ear. Any attempts at shoving him away is useless as the SOLDIER pushes his face as close to Cloud’s as he can.

Cloud shouldn’t listen to this. It feels wrong; even though it’s about him he can’t help but feeling guilty. If it were Kunsel then he could see the guy using it for blackmail but Cloud isn’t like that, least of all to someone like Zack. That’s not fair.

The two start to wrestle. His feet catch between Zack’s and they flop down onto the couch. Jeez, he’s so freaking heavy. It would’ve hurt more if they hit the floor and it makes him want to wipe that dopey smile off Zack’s face. An exasperated sigh leaves Cloud’s lips as he pulls himself up out of the monkey grip on his arms.

“We’ll tell him when you’re sober.”

Zack grabs Cloud’s hand, preventing him from moving. “I love him.”

Everything seems to stop.

Cloud rips his arm away like he’s been touched by fire and it makes Zack flop back onto the couch, his head rolling back as his smile seems to grow. Yet, every part of him feels so cold. The chuckle that leaves Zack’s lips makes the air catch in his lungs. It’s so stupid to let three little words hurt him so much.

This can’t be happening.

It has to be some joke, right? He was so sure that Zack had a girl already - some flower peddler from the slums - since he talked about her all the damn time. Surely they were an item or something.

Cloud’s legs grow weak so he sits down on the coffee table across from Zack. He watches through tears as Zack’s nose scrunches, eyebrows pulling together, like he’s focusing too hard. “He’s just so- sooo-“ Zack says, words meshing together, “He’s good, y’know? Always smilin’ at thin’s when I’m not looking. Cute.”

Hands rub at Cloud’s face furiously, pushing into his eyes as if it would stop the tears. He drops down to start undoing Zack’s boots. If he focus on that he can ignore the way his friend chuckles. Of course, he knows Zack means well but it doesn’t stop the hurt that’s pounding in his chest. It’s like he can’t breathe but that’s probably because he’s forcing back any noise and fighting with the tears. He shakily pulls at the laces.

This can’t be true.

A small part of him wishes it was. Maybe then he could feel something other than this hollowness. He’s been harboring this crush for so long and convinced himself it was one sided. Zack was too good for Cloud; he was okay with that. Not to mention it would devastate him if he compromised Zack’s position as a FIRST. Would it be considered a conflict of interest since Cloud is part of infantry? Who knows what ShinRa would do?

Cloud chokes out a laugh.

Zack’s head rolls forward, a frown pulling on his face. “Wha’so funny?”

“You don’t love him,” Cloud says solemnly, lifting Zack’s legs onto the couch.

“Youdonknowshit!” He tries to sit up, words tumbling out in anger, but before he can get any further the color drains from his face.

There’s barely enough time to grab a garbage bin before he’s throwing up.

At least it distracts them for the time being. He brushes the hair from Zack’s face, knowing no one likes that crap in their hair, to tuck it behind his ears. His fingers linger a little too long before moving to rub at Zack’s back as he heaves. It sounds painful.

“I thought SOLDIER’s can’t get drunk…” Isn’t the mako supposed to prevent that? “How much did you drink?”

“Not enough,” Zack says, face still in the bucket. He can barely lift his head and leans against the rim, glossy eyes string so sadly at Cloud. “What if I scare him away?”

“Zack, you don’t love him.” He deserves better.

“Whyy are you so conv- so sure?!” Zack snaps. The garbage can hits the floor as he pushes with a shout of frustration. He doesn’t get physical; a look of defeat crosses his face as he resigns himself to hanging off the couch instead.

Cloud stands and helps him lie on his side, propping his head onto a pillow. A blanket from the back of the couch is thrown over him as a way to hide the look on Zack’s face. He was hanging on to every word. Would he remember any of this?

“Because he’s a piece of shit,” he says, “Cloud doesn’t love you. You’re only going to get hurt.” The words hurt to say but not as painful as watching the way Zack’s face drops. Seeing the slow trickle of a single tear over the bridge of Zack’s nose slams the nail into Cloud’s coffin. The guilt tears into him like a rabid animal.

Hands shake. He reaches out to brush the hair from Zack’s face. “Try to get some rest…”

Cloud doesn’t linger much longer. A glass of water and some medicine sit on the coffee table for when Zack wakes and he leaves with a heavy heart.


End file.
